Six Reasons To Be On Your Best Manners During Salary Negotiations

It may seem self-evident to be collaborative during salary negotiations, but even the best of us can forget to be mindful of our attitude and behavior when the conversation turns to money. Everybody involved wants to get to “YES!” Then somebody mentions money and, somehow, reason and decorum are sacrificed. 

If you’re the interviewee (i.e., the one hoping to get the job), here is a quick hit list of reasons you should remember to act in good faith with extra special civility during salary negotiations. 

1. You’re not the one with the money. You have minimal leverage. Your potential employer has the money and you don’t. They are agreeing to give it to you for an expectation, not services rendered. They are taking the bigger risk. They aren’t obligated to give you anything and can move on to the next person for no good reason at all. If you paid them then you could pester them with all sorts of questions and demands. You don’t, so it’s important to play nice (or at least be civil).

2. Compensation is determined by committee. Even if you interview with just one person and they have sole authority to hire, chances are layers of people will be involved in finalizing your offer (i.e., compensation). Most positions have a predetermined salary range and your experience, skills, and likeability will be weighed to reach a consensus of where you fall in that range. If come across as greedy, entitled, or ungrateful you risk losing the offer outright.

3. Second impressions are just as important as first impressions. You did an amazing job during your interview process and everybody involved in the hiring process believes you may have hung the moon. Then the conversation turns to compensation and you turn into An American Werewolf from London. If a recruiter or hiring manager reports you displayed a distressing lack of enthusiasm over the offer, or have transformed into a bestial nightmare, it doesn’t help your cause or bottom line.

4. Honey works better than vinegar. You’ve heard the stories. You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but who wants to catch flies? Manners help; the sweeter the nectar, the more people will advocate for you. 

5. Remember – you’re playing the long game. You’re about to enter a new job, which is like a marriage. You will spend a significant portion of your day working. It is in your best long-term interests to establish an exceptional working relationship with your future work spouse. If you employ a scorched earth policy to get what you want in the short term you may sacrifice an important degree of professional happiness and coworker/manager goodwill in the future.

6. It’s a small (work) world after all. If you are difficult during the final and all-important compensation phase of the job process and get the job, that’s never the end of it. People talk and if they don’t have something nice to say about “the new guy” or “new girl” they talk a lot. Don’t make the transition into your new job more difficult than it needs to be. If co-workers whom you have yet to meet have a negative impression of you before they’ve laid eyes on you, you’re walking uphill in the snow in both directions (yes, lots of clichés today). Your reputation precedes you.

Philip Roufail contributed to this article.

Scott Singer is the President and Founder of Insider Career Strategies Resume Writing & Career Coaching, a firm dedicated to guiding job seekers and companies through the job search and hiring process. Insider Career Strategies provides resume writing, LinkedIn profile development, career coaching services, and outplacement services. You can email Scott Singer at scott.singer@insidercs.com, or via the website, www.insidercs.com.